No Longer Dating...I'm Committed
A few months ago, I was standing in front of Life's next step with a mouth piece and boxing gloves. Ready to open my trench coat and bare all the naked parts inside... I was ready to take a few jabs, get a few bruises and dust myself off after the judgment set in. The dust has settled. I’ve learned that no one was fighting back but me. I was my own judgment. Now, my journey continues and I’m thinking about commitment more than I ever have before. What’s it like to take on this forever kind of a dedication to a goal, a person, a lifestyle, a dream,... it's an all in kind of a feeling. The kind of feeling that, quite honestly, makes me want to lace up my tennis shoes, open the door and run as far away as fast as possible in the opposite direction.
Am I willing to put myself out there, to be all in? Then, (gasp), tell the world what I really want and relentlessly and authentically pursue it! Do I want that kind of accountability? For them (you know I mean you, my dear readers) to know that I want to be smarter, skinnier, prettier, healthier, happier, softer, stronger, more loving, more confident, more worthy, more wealthy, more vulnerable, more successful, more…more...? It’s risky and it’s worth it. I know I am allowed to want more (so are you) AND be grateful with where I’m at and what I have right now in this moment. I’m human… why not just Be Human. Perfectly imperfect in every way. Stumbling through like a chunky legged infant in a diaper taking their first steps. Falling a time or two or ten only to get back up and take one more wobbly step towards what we want. For me, this wobbly step has started with (wait for it)… the C word. Commitment. I’ve been dating these shifts, the change that I want to make the writing of my story. It’s clearer now as I look through the lense of the big C and realize I’ve not decided to commit to anything yet. I can’t keep dating life’s moments! Having a one night stand with our dreams and throwing them right back to the fairytale land they came from the next morning.
I’m starting to feel my arms busting out of the straight jacket, my lungs taking a big deep breath of air and wanting to run, jump, scream and smile when my arms free and the air is released... as if I’ve lived inside a box that had these rules and consuming thoughts saying "this is how you should be" "you can't do that", “you’re not ready” “not yet, maybe tomorrow”. All those should dos, somedays, watch out don’t get hurt or after you lose 10 lbs or get that next promotion or meet that amazing person of your dreams... this is me taking a right hook and a left kick to each side of the box holding these suffocating thoughts and debilitating feelings. Free at last! Can you feel what that might be like if you tried to kick yours down? Are you willing to bust down the proverbial walls or guard that keep you locked up, feeling protected but living a physically or emotionally stunted life?
Have you ever felt that heart pounding, mind racing and temperature rising kind of moment when you know that something is on the line here....something is at risk. Something is about to change. This something is very important. So big it makes you ache and heal at the same time. It might be exiting for some, scary for others, maybe nauseating, fearful, exhilarating or maybe you're just one of those rare renegade types that I dream of being where you have the "I'm great and I know it and here's what I'm going to do about it" perspective. We all need this renegade courage that gives the ability to flawlessly dance into commitment with the type of raw grace and beauty that everyone admires. If you are one of those types I want to shake your hand, absorb your energy, drink your blood (okay, maybe not but you get the point)! I want your courage. The world wants it. Needs it. It takes a renegade. Relentless courage to let go so you can hold on. Strange huh?! Why would we create dreams we don’t let ourselves have? In fact, we often stifle them before they are possible. Just like when we say “someday”, “when there’s time”, “tomorrow”, “maybe next year”, or “when I'm 30, 40, 50, 60, 70…”...well, the brutal honest truth is that we may never be 30, 40, 50, …80... so then what? What's all the waiting about? Why bother playing it safe? Why stay so comfortable in that cushioned box with fluffy pillows hearing the rule-abiding voices say to the renegade … "Don't push these walls down, there's nothing to catch you on the other side if you fall"!
So what if you fall! Commitment, in many ways requires the possibility of falling. It’s not a bad thing and it’s not necessarily a good thing. It’s just what it is. You may fall in love, fall in a job, fall into failure, success, the unknowing, being stuck, fall into wanting something and not having it. What’s it like to not have what you want? What choices and commitments do you have to make to get it? I want freedom from the straight-jacket of the “should dos” and “somedays”, I want true, honest and raw love for people and life, I want pure, strong physical and emotional beauty and I want joy, adventure, excitement and passion in every moment I’m here. This to me is being alive. I want to open the world up for people to reach high enough in the sky to get their dream today, not tomorrow. Not in a week or a year. Definitely not someday! We may not have that time. It’s a choice to commit to what’s important to you, for yourself and others.
The relentless renegade wants you and all those in your world to take this so-called Life and choose each day what and who you are Committed to. It’s making a vow of devotion before the powers that be in whatever philosophical, physical or spiritual beliefs you have (or maybe don’t have.. because that’s a belief too), and if not for those, for You…The one human being that you will have with you until your last breath.
Here’s my Commitment. I will not let my fears be stronger than my dreams. I will write that book. I will not worry about looking stupid. I will respond with speed and relentless energy to the impact I want to have on my life and those lives I touch. I will be light and deep. I will be healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually. I will not take myself or life too seriously. I will live my life with aliveness each moment. I will be authentic, honest, passionately with a tidal wave of curiosity to get the most out of each opportunity. I will consider all things of fortune and tragedy to be an opportunity.
I'm jumping up and down, screaming at the top of my lungs to my Life saying, "PUT ME IN, ALL IN, COACH! I’M READY, I CAN DO IT! ” The thing is, in this life, your life…there is no coach to put you in. Take the next step. If not now, when?
Am I willing to put myself out there, to be all in? Then, (gasp), tell the world what I really want and relentlessly and authentically pursue it! Do I want that kind of accountability? For them (you know I mean you, my dear readers) to know that I want to be smarter, skinnier, prettier, healthier, happier, softer, stronger, more loving, more confident, more worthy, more wealthy, more vulnerable, more successful, more…more...? It’s risky and it’s worth it. I know I am allowed to want more (so are you) AND be grateful with where I’m at and what I have right now in this moment. I’m human… why not just Be Human. Perfectly imperfect in every way. Stumbling through like a chunky legged infant in a diaper taking their first steps. Falling a time or two or ten only to get back up and take one more wobbly step towards what we want. For me, this wobbly step has started with (wait for it)… the C word. Commitment. I’ve been dating these shifts, the change that I want to make the writing of my story. It’s clearer now as I look through the lense of the big C and realize I’ve not decided to commit to anything yet. I can’t keep dating life’s moments! Having a one night stand with our dreams and throwing them right back to the fairytale land they came from the next morning.
I’m starting to feel my arms busting out of the straight jacket, my lungs taking a big deep breath of air and wanting to run, jump, scream and smile when my arms free and the air is released... as if I’ve lived inside a box that had these rules and consuming thoughts saying "this is how you should be" "you can't do that", “you’re not ready” “not yet, maybe tomorrow”. All those should dos, somedays, watch out don’t get hurt or after you lose 10 lbs or get that next promotion or meet that amazing person of your dreams... this is me taking a right hook and a left kick to each side of the box holding these suffocating thoughts and debilitating feelings. Free at last! Can you feel what that might be like if you tried to kick yours down? Are you willing to bust down the proverbial walls or guard that keep you locked up, feeling protected but living a physically or emotionally stunted life?
Have you ever felt that heart pounding, mind racing and temperature rising kind of moment when you know that something is on the line here....something is at risk. Something is about to change. This something is very important. So big it makes you ache and heal at the same time. It might be exiting for some, scary for others, maybe nauseating, fearful, exhilarating or maybe you're just one of those rare renegade types that I dream of being where you have the "I'm great and I know it and here's what I'm going to do about it" perspective. We all need this renegade courage that gives the ability to flawlessly dance into commitment with the type of raw grace and beauty that everyone admires. If you are one of those types I want to shake your hand, absorb your energy, drink your blood (okay, maybe not but you get the point)! I want your courage. The world wants it. Needs it. It takes a renegade. Relentless courage to let go so you can hold on. Strange huh?! Why would we create dreams we don’t let ourselves have? In fact, we often stifle them before they are possible. Just like when we say “someday”, “when there’s time”, “tomorrow”, “maybe next year”, or “when I'm 30, 40, 50, 60, 70…”...well, the brutal honest truth is that we may never be 30, 40, 50, …80... so then what? What's all the waiting about? Why bother playing it safe? Why stay so comfortable in that cushioned box with fluffy pillows hearing the rule-abiding voices say to the renegade … "Don't push these walls down, there's nothing to catch you on the other side if you fall"!
So what if you fall! Commitment, in many ways requires the possibility of falling. It’s not a bad thing and it’s not necessarily a good thing. It’s just what it is. You may fall in love, fall in a job, fall into failure, success, the unknowing, being stuck, fall into wanting something and not having it. What’s it like to not have what you want? What choices and commitments do you have to make to get it? I want freedom from the straight-jacket of the “should dos” and “somedays”, I want true, honest and raw love for people and life, I want pure, strong physical and emotional beauty and I want joy, adventure, excitement and passion in every moment I’m here. This to me is being alive. I want to open the world up for people to reach high enough in the sky to get their dream today, not tomorrow. Not in a week or a year. Definitely not someday! We may not have that time. It’s a choice to commit to what’s important to you, for yourself and others.
The relentless renegade wants you and all those in your world to take this so-called Life and choose each day what and who you are Committed to. It’s making a vow of devotion before the powers that be in whatever philosophical, physical or spiritual beliefs you have (or maybe don’t have.. because that’s a belief too), and if not for those, for You…The one human being that you will have with you until your last breath.
Here’s my Commitment. I will not let my fears be stronger than my dreams. I will write that book. I will not worry about looking stupid. I will respond with speed and relentless energy to the impact I want to have on my life and those lives I touch. I will be light and deep. I will be healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually. I will not take myself or life too seriously. I will live my life with aliveness each moment. I will be authentic, honest, passionately with a tidal wave of curiosity to get the most out of each opportunity. I will consider all things of fortune and tragedy to be an opportunity.
I'm jumping up and down, screaming at the top of my lungs to my Life saying, "PUT ME IN, ALL IN, COACH! I’M READY, I CAN DO IT! ” The thing is, in this life, your life…there is no coach to put you in. Take the next step. If not now, when?
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