A life's Journey

Ever feel that pressure in your chest? The tightness of the air in your lungs? The pit in your stomach?   It’s difficult to decipher if you want to yell, scream, run, cry or laugh hysterically and uncontrollably. I’m not sure what this feeling or emotion is and maybe there’s not just one emotion. It is possible when this happens that your body is being high jacked by a collaboration and culmination of a bunch of feelings fighting for which one is most real. Feeling real emotion. Now, that’s something. For me, it’s time to feel. It’s time to be real. It’s time to open up. It is time to live. It’s time to love. I have avoided every single second of these feelings and this realizing for approximately 15 years, 3 months, 29 days, 31 hours and 56 seconds OR, more simply, 483,913,916 seconds. That’s a long time. Especially a long time not to feel what you feel or express real, true, authenticity within yourself and others. The best parts of me have been comfortably protected behind a ...

So, I've been thinking about starting a blog for a long time. Some ask me why, others can't believe I haven't done it yet. The thing is, I'm generally a pretty private person.. only want others to know what's on the surface or what I feel like telling them. I've recently learned it's a protective quality and it's not good. I'm really a pretty great person if I say so, but my reservation and distance might be easily mistaken as cold, lonely, sad, or pathetic. See how quickly I can spin into a ultra beotch?! Well, here we are it's 2012 and I'm finally, in my mind, almost "back to normal" after about a 15 year hiatus. I'm looking forward to sharing life as I know it with those I love the most. What I know today is the time, determination, family and friendship are what have held me together as I glued back the parts on my own. No one can do it for you, but you need them there to hand you the parts, daily reminders that you are whol...