My Journey and Naked Truth

Ever feel that pressure in your chest? The tightness of the air in your lungs? The pit in your stomach?  It’s difficult to decipher if you want to yell, scream, run, cry or laugh hysterically and uncontrollably. I’m not sure what this feeling or emotion is and maybe there’s not just one emotion. It is possible when this happens that your body is being high jacked by a collaboration and culmination of a bunch of feelings fighting for which one is most real. Feeling real emotion. Now, that’s something.

For me, it’s time to feel. It’s time to be real. It’s time to open up. It is time to live. It’s time to love. I have avoided every single second of these feelings and this realizing for approximately 15 years, 3 months, 29 days, 31 hours and 56 seconds OR, more simply, 483,913,916 seconds. That’s a long time. Especially a long time not to feel what you feel or express real, true, authenticity within yourself and others. The best parts of me have been comfortably protected behind a titanium shield. A guard I brilliantly crafted so high and strong that even I, the lone manufacturer of this protection, has no idea how to break through. The big, full of life, full of love, cheerleader version of me has been in hiding, only to appear when complete safety is absolute and guaranteed. When do we really have absolute safety anyways? I have skillfully mastered protecting myself from pain and joy. We do this, you know, us humans, we are taught to avoid danger, mistakes and listen to fear in order to deal with life as it comes at us.

If you’re thinking, what the hell is she talking about? Great. Me too. To be honest, I have this ball of fire waiting to ignite this spark I have tried to hide for way too long. I feel this relentless energy to help others see there could be more to life than what they’ve allowed themselves to have. Sheltered by the ‘what ifs’ instead of the ‘what do I really want’? I’ve decided I’m finally courageous enough to let it out. I’m not fearless, but stronger than the fear of being judged, embarrassed, avoided, not loved. I am choosing to speak from my heart, not just my head. It’s quite challenging for someone as brilliantly logical as I self-proclaim to be. This new place is possibly the scariest I’ve tried to go but also the most fun and refreshing challenge I’ve done for myself in a long time. Sure, I still find myself hiding behind an embarrassed smile, painful memories, excuses, responsibility, fear, work, others needs above my own,..etc. Regardless, I remain committed to living a bigger, more full life all because of a few new perspectives, an amazing family, several new friends, many old friends and commitment to a purpose greater than I will ever know how to accomplish!

I recently completed an 11 month journey. I have spent over 100 hours in a coaches training program learning how to help myself and others live fuller, healthier, happier and more fun and enriched lives. I want to share a little about my journey and see if it creates some curiosity for you and how you might be interested in exploring coaching for yourself or someone in your life.  Without this journey I would still be hiding,  the gut wrenchingly raw confessional you’ve just read.

It doesn’t matter the type of thing you may have on my mind or in your heart. What I know is that coaching can serve your deepest challenges and your biggest dreams.  This coaching program has  helped me see through the titanium guard to the person I was meant to be. The person I want to be.  Not only gifts about myself, but gifts I want for others. Whether you are in my life today or not in my life today, I want something for you. I want this great gift of life. I want you to experience living on purpose, from a place of honest, real, true and authenticity. Yes. That might mean love and happiness. That might also mean anger, hope, sadness, longing, cheerfulness, enjoyment, relaxation, clarity and freedom from fear. It could mean a lot of different things, but what I want for you is to experience what you need to experience to live more fully and completely by your rules and emotions, not someone else’s. What could our world be like if we were all living in support of our dreams instead of our fears?

Every word I type makes me feel more and more insecure about sharing this unbelievably vulnerable essay of a novel I’m writing. I don’t even know if I’ll share it yet. I hear this inner voice louder and louder saying…  Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t share this. You don’t want to look like a rambling idiot. Save it just for you! Seriously Brittany, that’s exactly how you help others live a happier more full life. Keep it to yourself genius!

Damn that strong, logical and insecure inner voice. Moving on.

So, you might be right. I am completely out of my mind… I’m into my heart. Brutally honest, naked to the truth and wishing I had some kind of ‘swim-suit-type’ cover-up for how exposed I feel. To really experience the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautifully magnificent, the unbelievably happy…I suppose you have to take risks. Have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. You might be thinking either, “I want what she’s having!” or “Why am I still reading this BS?”. Either way, thanks for reading!

Regardless, I want for you, for your loved ones, your managers, your children, your co-workers, your neighbor, all you touch and are touched by to experience a real and true life full of happiness. What else is there? We only have one life and I am noticing that even the most successful, intelligent, loved and well cared for people out there are still not living from this real honest place. It’s work. It’s money. It’s kids. It’s take care of someone else. It’s I’m not good enough. It’s there’s always tomorrow. Certainly, you aren’t one of them!

Because those people, well, they have rules. They have joy. They have hurt. They have too many bills. They have loss. They have pain. They have love. They have success. They have friends. They have family. They have fear. They let fear win. They still have all those things above. What they may (or may not) have, is the life they want. They might be putting off doing that next project, taking that next vacation, they may be worrying about money, worry about what people think, hating their job, hating their house, hating their spouse, loving their spouse, loving their children, worrying about their children, longing for children, wanting the best life for their children, wanting to love more, wanting to be free, wanting to feel good, wanting more money, wanting less work, wanting love, wanting to leave a legacy, wanting to be loved.

These people... “they” are me. They are them. They are your neighbors, brothers, sisters, parents, friends, children, and maybe they are you too. So, what’s the point? If you’re still reading, either you have nothing else better to do or you found some my naked truth a way to feel better about yourself or you realize you are connecting with something I have said. If you are curious and what to know more, please, take the opportunity to explore a little further.

 My purpose is to share quite simply that I’m a coach. I’m pushing myself beyond my darkest fears and wildest dreams and I have a unique opportunity for you to experience the gift of this coaching model. I have six months left on my journey to become a Certified Professional coach recognized through the International Coaching Federation.  This certification process requires me to get clients and to practice my coaching, I already have over 100 hours under my belt and I have to get over 100 more over the next six months. Maybe this is the time for you to be courageous to discover something, realize something or just make something happen that you’ve been longing to do?  Through the end of March I will be offering 30 minute sample sessions to those interested in trying it out.  If you aren’t comfortable with me, I have a bunch of coaching friends from all across the country who are also going through the certification and are looking for clients. This has nothing to do with money, while I’m required to charge and I have a range that they recommend for us to use; I am willing to accept as low as a single dollar a month while I am in the six month certification program. I will share more if you are interested, but I believe in this and this coaching model. It is a priceless gift that I want to give.

I’m on a journey to live every day to the best of my ability and help others do the same. To make each of my worst days better than the last and know that I want a big life, one where I laugh and I cry with equal openness and truth. Whether you have read part of this, all of this or are just a person who is in my life or crossed my path just once... thank you for being part of my journey and I hope you considering reaching out to learn more about what coaching could be for you!